Executive TLDR
Winning starts with personal responsibility and eliminating excuses
You can outwork almost anyone and win
Close the integrity gap between what you say and what you do
Build belief, hope, and confidence in others
People skills are more important than sales skills
Strong personal relationships are the glue of leadership
Success is not about talent, it is about effort and commitment
Video Summary
Bill Whittle delivers a direct message: winning is about you. No excuses, no blame, no circumstances — just responsibility. He explains that success in business and life is not complicated. Most people lose because they fail to outwork the competition. From his early days making $16,000 a year as a coach to becoming a millionaire in Primerica, his breakthrough came when he eliminated excuses and committed to disciplined action.
He teaches the power of mental toughness, explaining that toughness is developed, not inherited. By choosing to outwork others, take notes, show up early, and stay committed, anyone can separate themselves. Whittle introduces the “integrity gap” — the space between what you say and what you do — and challenges leaders to close it intentionally.
Leadership, he explains, is about serving others, building belief, and creating hope. Hope means high positive expectation that tomorrow will be better than today. He emphasizes that people skills outweigh sales skills, and strong personal relationships are the true foundation of long-term success. Passion, commitment to excellence, and the will to win define real leaders. In the end, growth, income, and influence all reflect one thing: personal ownership.
FAQs
What is the main message of Bill Whittle’s talk?
That winning is personal responsibility. Success depends on your effort, mindset, integrity, and commitment.
What is the integrity gap?
The gap between what you say you will do and what you actually do. Leaders must close this gap to build trust.
Why does he emphasize outworking others?
Because effort is the great equalizer. You may not control talent, but you control work ethic.
What is the coach approach to leadership?
Believing in people, encouraging them, serving them, and developing their hidden potential.
Why are people skills more important than sales skills?
Because duplication and leadership require influence, trust, and relationships — not just technical ability.
What does hope mean in leadership?
Hope is a high positive expectation that tomorrow will be better than today, and leaders must create that belief in others.
How do you build strong personal relationships?
By spending time with people, communicating consistently, showing care, and serving them with sincerity.
Glossary
Integrity Gap
The difference between what a person says they will do and what they actually do.
Coach Approach
A leadership style focused on believing in people, encouraging growth, and developing potential.
Mental Toughness
The learned ability to persist, endure pressure, and maintain commitment despite obstacles.
Will to Win
An internal decision to persist and outwork competitors regardless of circumstances.
Servant Leadership
Leading by serving others first, focusing on their growth and success.
People Skills
The ability to communicate, connect, influence, and build trust with others.
Hope
A high positive expectation that the future will improve through effort and belief.
Transcript:
We’ll get started here. I really appreciate that. You know, it’s really funny. I was sitting back here. Look at that. Thank you, brother. Appreciate it. Because I was sitting back here, you know, and people ask me all the time. It’s funny how people ask you different questions as you travel. And I flew in last night, and we had some ice storms hit Baton rouge. First time, 110 years. Worst storm, ice storm and snow. We’ve got eight before we left there, but it was really pretty. And grandkids were out there playing and making snowmen and having snowball fights and all that stuff. And, of course, Blake’s no different than those kids. He’s out there with them and stuff. But when you travel like that, it’s really funny how people ask you a similar question.
Like they ask you, do you ever get tired of traveling and doing things like this? And I said, well, you know, I’m a man. I’m physical, so my blood flows like everybody else flows. So as far as physically, yeah, I think sometimes, emotionally, sometimes you get tired. But then I think, if you’ve ever been around our people. And I was sitting back there, and I was looking and watching the recognition and seeing all the things y’all getting, the beautiful recognition that the key leaders up here put together. And I saw the people walking across, and I saw your faces when you’re getting recognition. I went to RVP meeting today, and they were asking questions, and they were sincere questions, like, how do we help our people? How do we help the newest person? I think Jerry was asking that.
And in addition to that, how do we help the oldest person who’s been around at the length of a long time? Maybe somebody’s like, as long as I have, you know, for 45 years, how do you. What do we do to keep these people going? And I think to myself, how do you ever get tired of that? How do you get tired of doing something that’s so good and so pure like Primerica is? I mean, this is not a perfect company, but it really is a pure company. We do everything for the right reason. Art Williams always said, it’s not always easy to do what’s right, but it’s always right to do what’s right. Martin Luther King said the exact same thing. And if you think about it, what we do is so good, so pure.
What we do is make people feel good, make people feel special. And Art always said, of course, he stole that from Mayor Kay Ashe, that people walk around like they got a sign around their chest saying, make me Feel special. How do you get tired of making people feel special? The Bible says with it’s in your power to do good. Always do good. Don’t we do good at Primerica? I mean, you should never apologize for how much money you make at Primerica. You should almost be ashamed if you’re not making money. Cause it’s a righteous thing. When you make money at Primerica, you’re only doing it by helping. You can’t make it. Isn’t it great to know you’re with a company so pure you cannot make money hurting people at Primerica.
All you gotta do, if you just help enough people, you’ll make a ton of money. So if you’re not making a ton of money, what does that mean? You’re not helping enough people. So if you’re new here, you got a righteous heart. I would challenge that. Because if you have that righteous heart, you should have a fat wallet. Does that make sense? I know Liz and I. I’m able to support 12 or 15 different ministries and missions around the world. And it’s funny. Cause when I came here in this business, I was making $16,000 a year as a basketball coach and school teacher. I just. I’d been. I’d played ball at Louisiana State University, got my high school degree up indianapolis, Indiana. Had a chance to choose any college I wanted to play to in the United States.
And I chose Louisiana State University for all the wrong reasons. I went there just to visit because there was a guy there playing basketball named Pete Maravich. And he was a leading scorer in of ncaa. He’s a Hall of Famer in pro basketball too. And I wanted to go meet Pete Maravich. Everybody wanted to meet Pete Maravich. But I grew up indianapolis, Indiana, and I was a very. I had a great career, high school career. And so everybody’s a high school American. But when you get to college, it’s a different war. Well, everybody wanted to go meet Pete Maravich, so I wanted to go meet him too. But I was going to sign and play ball and stay in the state of Indiana. But I went down there and fell in love with the weather and the women. And so I signed.
I signed that next Monday, got my college degree, played ball there for four years, Had a really good career there for four years. Then I got out and I went into. I was still playing, traveling around the world, playing for the United States of America and had a shot at playing some professional basketball and stuff and representing the United States and kept doing that for a number of years in Coaching. And I was getting ready to go into college coaching. But my income after being in coaching and teaching for eight years and got three degrees. I’d gone from making my first year. I was making $7,200 as a high school basketball coach. That was in 1972, 1973, when I graduated. And my eighth year with three degrees. Biggest public school there. I was only making 16,000 a year. Actually $15,580 a year.
This is how fast your life can change. And so my wife was selling real estate, supporting my habit of coaching. And so also to give you a little bit of knowledge about a great partnership. Cause people ask all the time about Leslie because she said, did she marry you because you were so rich? I said, no, because I used to be a coach. And they ask her all the time, would you still marry? Would you still love Bill if he wasn’t so rich? She said, yeah, I’d miss him, but I’d love him. Okay. And so that concerns me a little bit. But. But she was selling real estate. But she was really supportive of me. I was getting ready to go into college coaching, and she was really supportive of me.
But she came home from work one day selling real estate and said, look, there’s a company moving into this town. Back then was a Williams. And the guy that I sell real estate with was an ex banker, is also in the insurance business. He’s getting involved with the company, and they’d like to talk to you. Well, you know, if you know anything about recruiting, you should feel good when somebody’s trying to recruit you. And I know some people, it’s almost like they’re apologetic when they’re out there recruiting. You should be bold about that. Just like if you’re recruited by a college or a professional team, they’re doing that because they think you are good enough to help them become champions.
It’s like somebody telling a guy like Nick Saban, oh, the only reason you want to recruit my son is you can win another national championship. Well, no stink. Of course I do. Okay. If somebody recruits you into Primerica, what are they saying? We think you can be something special. You need to be so bold in your approach of recruiting, because you really can offer somebody something. And you ought to be bold enough to tell them you have something to offer this company. And together we can do some great things. So that’s kind of what this guy did to me. He said, we want to talk to you about Primerica. We think you could really dominate this area. And, well, that’s all I needed to hear, yeah, I’m the dominator, you know, and.
Cause that’s how I felt myself as a basketball player and a basketball coach. So anyhow, I went down, took my lunch break and went over to see the guy. And I was working 8 o’clock in the morning till about 10, 11 o’clock every night, six days a week. I did that. All my years in coaching. Cause I wanted to be a great coach. And so I went down and saw this. And for the first time in my adult Life. And at 29 years old, I said, I came home, told my wife last night, I said, I think I could do that. She almost hit the floor. She had never heard me ever say anything like that other than coaching. That was my security blanket. Now some of y’all sitting here the same way.
You’re sitting here looking at this and somewhere in your mind you’re thinking, I don’t know if I can do that. I don’t know if I could be that good. I don’t know if I could become good in sales or recruiting or leadership things. But for me, this was kind of a natural thing. I didn’t like sales. Cause I hate rejection. So what I get, I got so good at my skills so fast. Cause I don’t like to get told no. I’m a high R personality. So I want everybody to love me, okay? But I’m also a high A personality. So if you don’t love me, I want to kill you. You know what I’m saying? I’m like Peter in the Biblical principle. So I guarantee if I wouldn’t have been a born again believer, I’d be a serial killer.
I think I really would be, okay? There’s a demon in me that you. I mean, if you don’t like me and you don’t want to buy from me, I want to. I literally want to burn your house down. And if you got a dog running around, I want to. I want to kill that sucker. I don’t care, okay? I don’t like you. I don’t like your dog. I don’t like your house. I don’t like that. That’s just me, okay? I don’t know what it is, but. But I like that about me to a degree, okay? And so anyhow, I got signed up, went to a fast start school, which I’m getting to my point here. Like you’re sitting in here, okay? This was nothing this big. Cause at that point in time, we was in Jackson, Mississippi. Now I live in Baton Rouge.
Jackson, Mississippi is about 200, 300 miles away. And you know, Jackson, Mississippi is, you know, you heard the old saying, it’s not hell, but you can see it. No, no. Jackson, Mississippi is hell. Okay, but here’s the deal. I was coaching. My manager said the guy recruited me, Shelby Watson ended up quitting, but I became a pretty good replacement at Rick Cash. And Rick Cash makes a million dollars a year just off of Bill Whittle. That’s it. So that’s the power of one person. And so Shelby said, bill, we need you to go to Jackson, Mississippi to go through training. Well, that was in my ears. He didn’t need to say, I love training. I was an athlete, I was a coach, so I knew the importance of training. And that’s what you’re doing here this weekend.
If I’m sitting in a meeting like this, I’d have an ink pen, I’d have a notepad. I’d be sitting there writing everything down. Main thing is I’d want every people around me to know that I was smart enough to know how to take notes, okay? And so I wrote everything down. And about halfway through that meeting, I started looking around. I’m telling you, the God’s not a truth. This is 45 years ago. I remember like yesterday. So I look around that meeting, I said, you know, there’s not many people in here taking notes. I will smoke them. No, I’m being serious. I knew there was no way they’re gonna. They’re not gonna beat me. They’re not taking notes. The Delos pencil’s been in the sharpest mind. I said, I’m gonna smoke these suckers. This is over.
I’m gonna beat most of these people here just cause they’re not gonna pay attention. They’re gonna work, they’re gonna leave here. They don’t even know what they’re gonna be doing. They’re not gonna remember this stuff. There’s no way they’re not gonna remember this stuff. So I knew I had an advantage. Then I watched as the meeting went on and they’d be out in the hall, fiddle, you know what, and around, they’d be coming in late, leaving early. I said, I’m going to beat most of them. And then I heard what Art Williams said, that you can just basically outwork. I said, wait a minute, what did he say? He said, you can beat most people in this room by outworking them. I remember my dad. My dad got killed when I was 11.
When I was 11, he was 33 years old, driving a four. We were very poor. Grew up indianapolis, Indiana. My mom went to work after my dad got killed the next day, got her left hand chopped off working in a cabinet shop. Went to work the next day with a bandage over her left hand, no hand. That’s how I grew up. And my dad taught me hard work is a great equalizer. And I watched around that room and I said, these guys aren’t going to work like Bill widow’s going to work. Now. I hadn’t even made a sale, hadn’t even gone on an appointment. But what was I doing? I was creating a story of why I was gonna win at Primerica. You need to do the same thing this weekend. You need to look around and you start.
I know it sounds bad, but you need to look around and start thinking, I’m gonna crush that sucker. I’m gonna beat that person. Look at that person. They’re coming in late, they’re leaving early, they’re not paying attention, they’re not really getting into this thing I’m gonna beat. And then. Cause you know what? When you get that in your mind that you can’t get beat, then you become a winner in your mind. And that’s all that matters. If it’s not in your mind, then you’re not gonna be a winner. It’s not going to happen. And some of y’all gotta overcome a lot of stuff. But when I came into this thing, I didn’t have to overcome a lot of stuff. Cause I had this mindset of 11 year old kid. And my dad taught me how to the great equalizer.
And the way he taught me that was he’s getting ready to get in a fight. When I was like 10 years old and I knew I couldn’t beat this kid, I knew I couldn’t because this guy was a bull. And I knew he was going to pound me. I came home and asked my dad, I said, dad, I can’t beat him. He said, what do you mean? I said, he’s too big, he’s too strong. I said, I can’t beat him up. And he said, I know he’s going to fight me and I can’t. He said, well, you’re not going to run. I said, yeah, I’m going to get whipped. He said, if you run, you’re going to get whipped when you come home. Now I’m sitting there thinking, okay, I knew I had to come home.
It was a chance I could run from this other kid. But then if I ran, my dad was saying, I’m going to get it whipped when I get home. I said, well, I’m going to get whipped either way. I said, but I’d rather get whipped by this kid than I would my dad. I said, dad, what do I do? He said, find an equalizer. I said, what do you mean? He said, a brick, a stick, something. He said, you’re not going to run. I swear. That’s my dad. My dad was a tough dude. And I said, okay. And luckily I won that fight. But you know what he was saying? He wasn’t saying fight. He was saying, outwork people. And so when I saw Primerica and I looked at that room and I said, you know what? That’s how I became a great athlete.
That’s how I became a great coach. I just outworked everybody. I wasn’t the smartest guy in the room. I wasn’t the most talented guy in this, that and the other. But I beat everybody. I led the SEC in rebound. I was fourth in score. And I did all kinds of stuff. But I said, how’d I do that? I wasn’t that big, I wasn’t that talented, and I was white. And I said, but I beat people. How’d I do it? I outworked them. You couldn’t out tough me. It wasn’t possible. And I brought that into Primerica. So this thing ain’t that hard. If you could develop these type of things and these aren’t skills you’re given. Mental toughness is not something you’re born with. It’s something you develop. And if you came here and most people aren’t mentally tough.
Cause they’ve never gone through a lot of tough stuff. They never lost parents, they’d never lost a spouse. They’ve never gone through. I had polio and rheumatic fever and all that kind of stuff growing up, you just gotta beat that stuff. You gotta go through that stuff, right? And you can’t be looking for pity and looking for people that’s gonna sorry for you. Cause what if they don’t come along? You can’t go there, okay? You gotta leave all that excess baggage to home tonight, this weekend. Never to be the same person. I made a statement. I called my wife that night. I said, baby, unless I’m the dumbest person in this room, Big hesitation. She never answered. And I wanted to correct that. Or I said, unless these are the biggest. I said, I’m gonna make a lot of money here.
She had never heard me talk about money one time. I’ve never been money motivated, but I like Nice things. And isn’t that stupid? I’ve never been money motivated, but I like nice things. But I always made enough money to have nice things. Always. Even when I was broke, I always had nice things. Nice clothes, nice cars. I had it. But I was always broke. Always broke. Here. I said, that ain’t gonna happen anymore. And I said, you know, they said, write down three things you want to accomplish. And I wrote those three things down. I said, I want to be able to take my wife to see her parents in Alper Creek, New Mexico and fly her out there. And I didn’t want to just buy a one way ticket. I wanted to be able to come back home okay.
And I said, the other thing is I want to take her to Hawaii. I’ve been telling her we’re going to go there, but I didn’t take her to Biloxi, Mississippi. Now is there sand in Biloxi? Yeah. Is there water in Biloxi? It ain’t Hawaii, but that’s where I’d take her. Why? What was I broke? I was sick and tired of being that way. That night was the sickest I ever been. Why? Cause here’s the deal. I didn’t have an excuse any longer. It was an excuse eliminator. I got sick of my stomach because I looked in that mirror and said, you’re not the man I thought you were. And I was 29 years old, talking to myself this way in that mirror that night in Jackson, Mississippi. Then it said, what do you want? I knew I wanted a sports car.
None of stupid, I’m 6’six weigh 235 pounds. I can’t fit in a sports car. But you know what? I wanted it for all the wrong reasons. Just like when I went to lsu. But it worked out right. That motivated me. I wanted that sports car. Why? My ego. I just wanted that sports car. I didn’t like driving the kind of cars that I was driving, but I was driving them. But I was broke, in debt. I said, no, I’m going to get that thing. And then he said this. I got so fired up at my first five stars. Write down three things. After three things you want that you’re willing to give up. I knew that cause I was an athlete. I knew that cause I was a coach. I knew this.
But I wouldn’t practice it in my life with my goals that I wanted to accomplish for myself. So I wrote those three things down. What am I willing to give up? I was playing in six different leagues, traveling all around the world. I Said, I’m not gonna quit these things, but I’m gonna give up some of them. So I’m telling you this to let some of you off the hook tonight. We’re not asking you to give up everything. Maybe just cut back. Just prioritize your time and your effort and your energy and gear it toward this, okay? And you watch how it pays off. Cause most things you’re doing right now, it’s not paying off. It’s just comfortable, okay? It’s not creating wealth or success for it. It’s just comfort. You’re just comfortable doing the things you’re doing.
So I said, I’m gonna do that. I’m not gonna give it up. Cut back. I loved TV back then when I had three stations. Right now, I don’t know what I’d do. I’d be an addict, okay? I said, but I’m not gonna give up watching games and this, that, and the other. I’m just gonna cut back. And I did. Freed up time for me to invest in Primerica. Back then. A.O. Williams, then staying in shape, working out. I water skied all the time. I worked out all the time. I practiced basketball. I pump weight stuff. I said, I’m not gonna quit that stuff. I’m gonna cut back. You know What? After that first year, first month, I made $2,700 part time. Second month I worked, I made $5,700. Third month, $8,700.
But finding the summer was over, I was making more a month part time than I was making a year teaching and coaching. My first year, I made $110,000, primarily as a district. We didn’t have a regional manager position back then. Got promoted to rvp. Left my job. I went full time in Primerica, but coached voluntarily because I want to make an impact on those kids. And four years later, I was a cash millionaire. Three years later, actually, after I got promoted three years to the date, I saved my first million dollars in cash. And I started skyrocketing. Started beating most RVP’s in the nation as districts and visions. When I was down to the lower level, then when I got to the top, they competed.
We used to have a liar sheet where you’d mail your numbers in, and the day they came out with a leader’s bulletin on the computer, I shot to number one in the nation. And I stayed there for decades. How did I do it? Same principles. This thing doesn’t change. It’s not that hard. And so I think about being married. It’s the same Thing being married, people ask all the time, boy, you’ve been married 49 years. We’re going on our 50th year this year. And people say, isn’t it funny that we applaud for that? No, no, no. Cause I’m trying to help you out. I’m not trying to be mean. It’s sad that we applied for that. That should be expected. Okay? I always tell my kids, you can always say, I don’t till you say you do.
And then after that, suck it up and get after this sucker, okay? And so I heard a joke. Cause were celebrating one of the members of my church. We have a church a lot like this. We pack it out. Five services every Sunday. And seats. It’s about this size, a little bit bigger, but it’s a beautiful facility. I love it. There’s. And so last Sunday before last, were celebrating somebody’s 50th reunion anniversary. I’m sorry. And so the pastor was telling his joke about this man and his wife. They’d been married 50 years. And they went to bed. And the woman said, you know what she said when were married, when were first married 50 years ago, she said, you used to always hold my hand. So he reached over and held her hand.
He said, you know, 50 years ago, you used to always snuggle. So he moved over there and snuggled. She said, you know, 50 years ago, you used to always nibble on my ear. And he gets up, throws the COVID back. She said, where you going? He said, you know, go get my teeth. You can’t nibble without those teeth. You know what I’m saying? All right, so I’m gonna. I’m gonna. I want to jump this. I’m going to do my best job I can to help you. I’m going to give this thing really fast. And I use this. It’s called the coach approach. And I hope you will steal this, use this information, anything and everything I can do to help you build your business, help you maybe with your family, whatever. I know with me, a big part of my continuation.
Why do I keep going? Because I always feel like this. Maybe it’s wrong. Maybe it’s an ego. Maybe I don’t know what it is. But I really do have a philosophy that if I let up, I’m letting somebody down. Now, maybe that’s not true, but that’s how I feel. I don’t want to. I don’t want to let my Lord down. I don’t want to. As if he give Me another breath like he did four years ago when I. They. I had a cardiac arrest. They pronounced me dead. I was dead for 32 minutes. Longest time recorded they’ve had in the Baton Rouge, Louisiana area. Totally said, there’s no way. And after 32 minutes, they brought me back to life. Then they froze me. Froze my entire body and the insides outside and everything outside, and put me in a coma.
And he said, this guy don’t have a chance. Called my wife the next morning and said, look, there’s no possible way he’s going to be a vegetable, if he even survives. But I came out of it because I really believe. Well, I appreciate that, but I really believe. I really believe with all my heart. It goes. I really think the Lord had more for me. But after I came, out of my way, my son, my kids. Dad, you need to cut back. You need to cool it. You need to do this, you need to do that. I said, no, I don’t think that’s what he’s telling me. I really don’t believe that. I said, if that’s the case, I’d been better off going to heaven. Been with him. Cause I knew where I was going. But I think he wanted me here longer.
Or he said, I don’t want this crazy sucker up here. Okay? I don’t know. I don’t know what it is. My kids said, dad, Pops. My grand. Calls kids for all my pops. My kids say, dad, you look like you got a propeller up your butt. You never stop. What is wrong with you? You know, But I want to live my life that way. I might burn out, but I’m going to tell you, I ain’t rusting out. You know, I don’t think that’s a good way to. I don’t think you honor God by laying around, not accomplishing anything in life. And I want to make an impact on people’s lives. So this, for me, is an honor for me to be here. A lot of people say, well, what about Leslie? What does she do? I said, what? I don’t know.
But I can tell you what she doesn’t do. She doesn’t do the dishes. She doesn’t do the laundry. She doesn’t do. And some of y’all say, it sounds like my old lady. Yeah, but we get those things done. Okay? So. But like me, somebody said the other day about teaching my son, my grandson, how to, you know, cut the grass or change oil. I said, for what? They’re not gonna ever be broke. Why would I want to teach them that? You know what I’m gonna teach them how to be a great father, how to be a great husband, how to be a great Christian. That’s what I want to teach my kids. Not something stupid about, you know, hire somebody to do that stuff. You take your time, effort and energy to do the things that are important in life.
Why do you need to know how to do manual labor? That is dumb. Okay, now think about it. It really is. Why do people do that? Ain’t like you enjoy doing it. You’re broke. So hire somebody to do that. And then spend more time with your family and your church and making money and making an impact on people’s lives. But I got the prettiest lawnin yard in the town. Who cares? That ain’t gonna get you a salvation. Come on, let’s work on that. Okay, so the coach approach. So let’s look at this. There’s a difference between coaching. I don’t know where I’m supposed to be reading this stuff. Where. Cause I usually read off the PowerPoint. But they must assume that I’m 20 again. Okay, I can’t see that thing back there. I gotta get a bigger screen.
Cause I can’t see that kind of stuff. Huh? What? Behind me. Turn around. Okay, good. Then I’d be like, Jimmy. I’d be worried about, is there a bald spot back here on stuff like that? Okay, I don’t want to do that. But look at this. Okay, this. Nick Saban, greatest football coach in the history of college coaching. But he said to be the best, you have to beat the best. And beat the best, you have to know what the best are doing. Then be willing to do it. Now, this weekend, you’re gonna have a great example of what the best are. Cause you got some of the best leaders in the nation in this room this weekend. Okay? I’m just blessed and honored that they’ve invited me to come. But you need to find out what they’re doing.
Now, what most people do is what they find out what they’re doing. Cause you know what’s great about Primerica, whatever everybody’s doing, they’re gonna tell you exactly what. We don’t keep secrets here. Everything goes, you know what we know. I met Bobby Knight one time and I asked him, I said, coach Knight, aren’t you worried that you’re gonna share everything? He shut me down in front of a big group. He said, coach, don’t. And I thought he called me Coach. Well, guess what I found out. All coaches call the other coaches. Cause they’re so dumb they don’t know each other’s names, okay? He said, coach, he said, you can tell everybody everything. They ain’t gonna do it anyhow.
And I thought to myself, how stupid is that now, guys, I was 22 years old when I heard Bobby Knight say that I carried that philosophy. So when I got in Primerica, you know what I knew? I didn’t know anything about this. So when people were saying things, I thought, well, if that’s the case, I’m doing that. And that’s all I did. And that’s how easy it was to beat people. I just listened to what they said, and then I went out and did it. I didn’t. It wasn’t that complicated. As long as moral, ethical and legal, I was doing it. I didn’t care. I didn’t care I was going to do it. And that’s how I beat everybody. It’s not that complicated. So if you look at it, that’s the coach approach. What’s the definition of a coach?
A passionate, dedicated individual who unlocks hidden potential and maximizes a team’s performance by believing, encouraging and developing. That’s what a teacher does. The greatest teacher of all time was Jesus Christ. Now think about it. Read this. So you say, well, I don’t know if I can be a leader. Sure you can. I don’t know if I can be a coach. Sure you can. Cause look at this. Can you be passionate? Can you get excited? Can you be. Now, I’m not talking about some, you know, motivated idiot, okay? I’m not talking about that. Okay? You see people, okay? We’re not talking about. Don’t be some humming gator where you run your mouth all the time, not backing it up with your rear end, okay? I mean, all that hopping and hollering, that’ll mean nothing if you’re not doing anything, okay? But match it, right?
So you can be passionate. Where’s passion come from? Think heart. Exactly right? So if you’ve got the heart, the blood flow, a passionate person. If you’re excited. Well, I’m excited. Well, then tell your face. Move. Be excited about it. Show some energy. Energy. They just hired Pete Carroll to go back in coaching. 73 years old. I know. I’ve met Pete. Great guy. But you know why they hired him? Not about his coaching skills. He needed to bring passion to the Raiders. Passion. Saints should have got him, okay? So you can bring dedication. You can have an impact on people by finding their potential, by being a people believer, by being what I call a gold Digger, find the good in everybody and just be that kind of person. That’s what makes a great coach, right? And look at that.
Can you believe in other people? The number one responsibility of a great coach is breathing belief into people. Number one responsibility of great parenting. Breathe belief in your parents, I mean, your kids. Breathe belief in your partner, your spouse. And if you’re an agent in here, don’t look for people to be breathing belief into you. You gotta suck it up and man up or woman up. That ain’t gonna happen most of the time, okay? And you know why? You gave them a reason not to believe in you. You know what you need to make this company a reason. Give them a reason to believe in you. Don’t beating down on people cause they’re not believing or don’t support you. You’ve probably given them a reason not to believe in it. A reason not to support you.
Make sure this is the time you don’t make this another place that you do that with, okay? And then encourage people, right? So if you look at this, Martin Luther King said, everybody can lead because everybody can serve. Jesus, the greatest example of that ever. If you look at him, he said, I came here to serve, not to be served. A lot of people get into Primerica, they see these titles, they see all this income, they say, oh, I wanna be the man. Well, that’s not what Jesus Christ said. He said, I’m gonna serve you. He said, it ain’t about the title, it’s about the towel. He took the towel, he wiped their feet. He became servants to the people that he was over. So if you’re gonna get into real leadership, you’re gonna be at a real business.
You gotta take a servant’s heart. How can you serve people? How can you make them better? Art Williams called it pushing up people. How many people can you push up? You don’t have a better example than anybody in the entire company than Jimmy Byers, who’s sitting in this room. You don’t have anybody better than that guy right there. I’ve never seen anybody that praises people, pushes people up, makes you, Puts you on a pedestal. You cannot walk away from him and not feel better. Listen, you cannot walk away from him and not feel better about you. You can’t do it. It’s not possible. No way. He just fills you up. He’s crazy. I might start dating him. Okay, all right. So you go to this. I’m gonna give you some examples of this, okay?
So you look at great teams and you’re Here to build a team. Hopefully you’ll build a team. Okay? That means you’re gonna have to become a great coach. Because great players don’t want to play. They don’t want to not play for a great coach. They want to play for a great coach. So this is by Lou Holtz and Nick Saban. And I just used a lot of their material here. So what are they made up of? Okay, great players and great coaches. That’s a great team. Okay, how do you recruit great players? What do great players look for in a great coach? Then you just got to become that way. It’s called the law of attraction. And you’ll attract those kind of people. You say, well, I don’t have any people. Like is because you’re not like that. You can’t attract what you’re not.
John Maxwell, a good friend of mine, says, you’re not who. You don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are. Now, if I ask you how many people you have on your team and you don’t have anybody on your team, what’s that say about you think you’re unattractive now? Think that’s tough to admit. But guys, that’s a law of attraction. And John Maxwell is the number one leadership trainer in the world. And he said, if you think you’re a leader and you look around behind you and nobody’s following you’re just out for a walk. But nobody’s following you. You’re not a leader. You’re not a leader. You have no leadership influence. You can’t get anybody to do what they need to be doing because they’re looking at you and they don’t want to be around you.
They don’t like you, they don’t trust you. I’m gonna ask you to write that down. They gotta like you, they gotta trust you. A lot of people say, well, no, you don’t have to like me. You don’t have to trust me. You just gotta respect me. Guys, if you ever say that to a child, you’re an idiot. That is an idiotic statement to say that. That is not leadership. That’s positional leadership. Leadership at its lowest level. And a lot of us were raised like that by parents. Cause they didn’t know any different. They’d never been trained in leadership. You may force your kid to sit down, but on the inside he’s standing up or she’s standing up. You gotta become a leader. They gotta want to follow you, not have to follow you. It’s the same thing.
In Primerica, you’re not dealing with children here, but it’s the same. Just for more fat cells, a few more wrinkles here. Okay, so here’s what you look for. Okay? Now watch this. Okay? Number one, Lou Holt said, can they trust you? In other words, integrity. What’s integrity? Integrity means it’s what you say you’re gonna do and what you do. Now watch. So if I say I’m gonna do this, but I do this, that’s a gap. So write that down in your notes. It’s what I call the integrity gap. Now, what’s the objective? Your objective as a leader is to consciously, intensely, consciously and intentionally close the gap. So in everything you say, what you should, what do you just close the gap. Hey, I’m gonna be at that meeting at so and so time. And you show up, you’ve closed the gap.
Hey, call me at so and so time, I’ll pick up. You close the gap. When you pick up, you need some help, come meet me at the office. I’ll be there to help you. You close the gap. Now, once you get to that point where they matched, then all of a sudden, now you’re an integrity based human being. Now that’s easy to follow somebody like that. Now they can like you and they can trust you. Why would they not want to follow you? Is this making sense? Okay, And I think with your children and the same thing dealing with your business. Okay? So number two, do you care about me? People want to know, do you care about me? Do you really care about me? Now here’s the deal. You can’t think, oh, no, I care about you.
You really should know, I care about you. No, are you saying it? Guys, there’s an old saying. If you don’t tell your wife you love her, somebody else will. Okay, guys, you gotta say it and you gotta show it. Your children, you gotta say it and you show it. I can’t tell me times a day I tell my kids and my wife and everybody how much I love them. I send her flowers. We’ve been married 49 years. I sent her flowers, I sent her love letters. I send this. I buy her wardrobes. I do the same thing. My daughter, my daughter in law, my son. I mean, you got to flood people with love and affection and praise. They just got to know that you just can’t live without them.
You got to do the same thing with your people in Prime America, because if not, they’re gone. So they got to know you care about them. Okay? Communicate, build strong relationships. Not Long distance. You don’t ever see them. I’m talking strong relationship. Now, what do you do with people you got a strong relationship with? What’s the number one thing you do? Spend time with them. Personal time with them. Face to face. Holding hands, sitting next to each other, doing things together. Building relationship. Building relationship. Art Williams said the glue that holds this business together is strong personal relationships. Now, you may think you’re good at this thing. You may think, you know Primerica, you’re no Art Williams. You’re not worth billions of dollars. Nobody built relationships like that dude did. Nobody. So you got to work on that. And everybody can do that.
Number three, you’re committed to excellence. Okay? This is you as a leader. Your skills, you get good. You practice humility. And if you don’t know something, you just say, I don’t know something. I want to know something. So I’m going to go get my butt to work and I’m going to learn. You know, what the best thing you could do for your people. You know the best thing you do for your kids? Tell them that you went to a seminar this weekend. Parents. And show them your notes. Tell them what you got out of this. Let them know. Wow. My mom and dad went and they learned. They’re coming in. So you’re not going to just go on home, Teach them. They want to see that you were teachable, that you cared enough about them to commit yourself to excellence.
When I coach these kids, and I still do with my grandson, I’m a psycho. Two words, psycho. Okay? And I go to clinics. Even now, I go to clinics. Isn’t that crazy? I’m a grown man in the business world, stone wealthy. And I go to clinics to learn how to be a coach to these young kids. You know why I’m committed to excellence? If I’m gonna do something the Bible says, do it as if you’re doing it unto the Lord. You’re in Primerica. You need to be the best you can at Primerica. The best salesman, the best recruiter, the best dresser, the best everything. The best speaker. You need to be the best that you can be. Not best compared to everybody, the best you can be. I don’t think most of us can say that. I know I can. I gotta do better.
That’s the reason I hired a professional trainer to train me in my leadership. Cause I gotta get better. And here I am, 74. Been doing this a long time, but I know I can get better. And I got to get better if I’m going to get Bigger. Okay, so the will to win, that’s a huge thing. Your people got to know that no matter what, you have a will to win. No matter what’s going to happen, you have a will to win. Nothing’s going to get too hard for you here. Nothing can get too tough. You could have everybody in your team quit the next day. You show up with the same attitude, and you’re going to crank that baby back up. That’s a leader worth following. Mom, dad, your kids need to see that in you.
I don’t care how bad the marriage gets. I don’t care how bad your job situation gets. You can never, ever, ever come home and show that. I mean, think about this. I see men more than women do this. You’re seeking pity. How pitiful is that for you to seek pity? Well, you know, it’s been so tough. It’s been so hard. I don’t know. And you go and whining and grinding like some little sissy punk. And you wonder why you can’t get supportive. It’s unbelievable. And the bigger the men are, the bigger the punks they are. Guys, my wife, Leslie, has never, ever, ever heard me one time come home and say one thing negative about this company or anybody in it. One man ever. And I got. No, no. I’m not doing that for applause. One man ever. And I helped get him fired.
He was the CEO of this company. Guy was a total. I want to go there. Cause we’re in church, okay? But you know what? Wasn’t going to run me off. I did everything I could to run him off. Because he was a bad human being. I thought, and I think I was right. Okay? I know I was right. The last one. Do you have a positive winning attitude? Now, that’s the word. Hope. H, O, P E. This is what every kid needs. Every spouse needs this. Every agent you have, they have to have hope. The definition of hope is high positive expectation. I’ll repeat it. High positive expectation that tomorrow is gonna better than today. That’s the definition of hope. Okay? Not maybe better. It’s gonna better. And that’s what you’re selling. Hope that tomorrow’s gonna better than today.
Now, this is your job of leadership. So let’s say you have a chargeback or like, I just had a situation where I had a real big guy, was fixing to quit, and this, that, and the other and really good friend of mine. I turn it around. But for a while, I’m telling you, it got to Me. But you know what I couldn’t allow? I couldn’t come home, let my wife see that. Because what did I just tell you happened? What happened? I turned it around. Now what if I’d have gone home and dumped all that stuff on my wife? Oh, this and all that. I dumped all that negative. Now she’s got this negative in her head about this gentleman. And then I go back and get it all straightened out and now everything’s okay. But where’s the thoughts in her mind?
Now she loves me. So what’s her job? Protect me. So what is she thinking? One of two things. Let’s crush that guy. Or let’s see if I can get my husband to maybe not do this thing and pour his life in that many people. Am I right or wrong? So years ago, when Art Williams sold the company, we lost 13 first generation RVP’s, all making 100,000 and above overnight. That was a long time ago when Art did that. At that time my income was a million something a year. It dropped to a half million overnight, instantly. And these were our best friends. 13 first generations. I had a bunch more, but I lost those 13. I’ve really built. I built it back up pretty quick. But anyhow, we lost that. We poured a lot of time and effort in these people.
Now I’m trying to help you because it’s going to happen to you too if you build a big business. It’s going to happen. Here’s what Leslie said to my wife. She said, I just don’t. I can’t take this. We just can’t get this close to this many. It just hurts too bad. I said, no, you’re wrong. You know what the problem is? We didn’t have enough. We didn’t have enough. We should have lost 20 or 30. Then we’d have had another 50. Stay. We didn’t get close to enough people. Now listen, did Jesus Christ lose people? Did Art Williams lose people? So do you think we’re going to lose people? But we can’t get jaded by that. We can’t think of the next one. Oh no, they’re going to be. They’re going to be like that.
They’re going to be this, they’re going to be that. Never do that. Wash it, put it behind you. And believe in this one like you’ve never believed in anybody before. Does that make sense to you? Okay, so. So then. Okay, I gotta go fast here. Okay, so these are the skills you ought to master. Okay. By the way, before I get to this, I only got three minutes and I’ve got through 10 minutes of my presentation and 45. So I would have got through faster, but you know, all these vice presidents talking up here, so I couldn’t get through it. Okay, but draw a pyramid on your notepads. Okay? I’m gonna give you this thing. I won’t be able to cover this. But if you want training, this would be a good thing for you to cover.
And you’d never make a mistake in your training if you’ll cover these three things. Okay, in the top of the pyramid, the little part, draw, you know, draw like three lines so there’s segment of three different sections. On the top, write down sales skills. In the middle, write down people skills. At the bottom, where it’s wider, write down leadership skills. And then grade yourself 1 through 10 on each of those categories. Okay? Sales skills. Any dumb. I’m not saying this to knock it other than I’ve been number one in the most personal sales ever made in the history of the company. I think Tony Narain just passed me. But other than that, I was the number one guy. Now I think I’m number two. And I’m a big billion ahead of base shops and 2 billion ahead of first generations.
Starting to catch up quite welling those guys are doing. But I’m still in those positions, okay? So I know how to sell. I knew how to sell. I was very good at what I did. A lot of people know it, but they don’t do it. I did it and I knew it. So on sales skills, don’t pride yourself because you’re really good at sales. You’re good at knowing insurance and knowing securities. If you can’t teach it, you really don’t know it. So you gotta look at the success of other people. That’s what a business model is. Okay, duplication. Then the second thing is people skills. Now why is people skills in the middle? Because it’s the most important. It’s also the hardest thing for most people to learn. So you gotta learn what are the people skills?
Okay, and then number three is the leadership skills. And leadership. Like you can learn sales skills instantly. Any dumb can learn sales and products within the first 12 months and you can get really good at it. And then it’s just a matter of doing it over and over and over. It’s not that complicated. Okay? But people skills goes into sales skills and people skills goes into leadership skills. So if you had to get good at one skill, what would it be? Guess what? Most people never get good at. Cause what are you dealing with? People. And guess what? You is. You is a people. And guess what? You don’t even like yourself. No, I’m trying to help you. So you gotta fall in love with yourself. Give yourself a reason to like yourself. Be dedicated, be committed, be nice, be loving, be caring.
Be type of people wanna be around. Drop all this macho, oh, you’re tough, and all that kind of stuff. Drop all that stuff. Stop being that way to your people in the business and to yourself and to your kids or your spouse. Okay, real quick here. Master these skills and I’m done. Educate, motivate, tolerate, communicate and build strong personal relationships. Educate, motivate, tolerate, communicate, build strong personal relationships. Say it out loud with me, if you don’t mind. Help me. Educate, motivate, tolerate, communicate and build strong personal relationships. Of all the things up there, what do you think’s the most important thing? Building strong personal relationships. Love other people. The Bible says, love people the way you want to be loved. I’m going to help you out there. We’re in a church, but I know this is a fact.
You know why most people have trouble loving other people? Because they don’t really love themselves. So I’m not sure if that’s a good statement, but you ought to think about that. A lot of times we do treat people the way we want to be treated, but some of you are like, statistic. What? Sadistic, whatever it is. I mean, you like to beat and all that kind of stuff. Y’all some perverted suckers. Okay, I know that, okay? But I’m excited about spending time with you tomorrow. I’m going to more training than this BS I went through tonight, but I hope it helped out a little bit. I love you guys. Thank you all very much. Thank you.
