Executive TLDR
Every Primerica leader goes through five predictable emotional stages
The honeymoon stage is fueled by excitement and belief
The reality stage introduces rejection, skill development, and hard work
The pressure stage exposes weaknesses and builds mental toughness
The futility stage is the most dangerous — where negativity and blame grow
The rebirth stage begins when you take responsibility and rebuild belief
Success depends on attitude, perception, and feeding the “right wolf”
Leadership growth requires consistency, discipline, and renewed commitment
Video Summary
Glen and Xio Li deliver a powerful leadership lesson on what they call the five stages every Primerica leader faces throughout their career. They begin by highlighting the freedom and lifestyle available through the business, encouraging leaders to fight for more. Glen then outlines the emotional progression leaders experience. The honeymoon stage is filled with excitement, belief, and bold conversations. The reality stage introduces rejection, skill gaps, and the understanding that success requires work. The pressure stage brings comparison, exposure, competition, and responsibility, testing mental toughness. The futility stage is the darkest period, where leaders may stop showing up, blame external factors, align with negative influences, and justify lack of results. Finally, the rebirth stage occurs when leaders take full responsibility, rebuild discipline and belief, and return stronger with experience. Glen closes with the analogy of the two wolves — one negative and one positive — explaining that the mindset you feed determines your future. Their message reinforces that leadership success in Primerica is less about circumstances and more about perception, attitude, and personal growth.
FAQs
What are the five stages every Primerica leader faces?
The honeymoon stage, reality stage, pressure stage, futility stage, and rebirth stage.
What is the honeymoon stage?
It’s the initial excitement phase where everything feels possible and belief is high.
What happens during the reality stage?
Leaders realize success requires skill development, consistent recruiting, and handling rejection.
What is the pressure stage?
It’s when responsibility increases, weaknesses are exposed, and leaders must develop mental toughness.
Why is the futility stage dangerous?
Because leaders may stop showing up, blame others, form negative groups, and justify inactivity.
What triggers the rebirth stage?
Taking responsibility, rebuilding belief, and recommitting to discipline and consistency.
How does attitude impact leadership success?
Attitude shapes perception, resilience, and the ability to push through adversity.
Why do leaders compare themselves to others?
Comparison often happens during the pressure stage and can either motivate growth or fuel doubt.
What does “feeding the right wolf” mean?
It means choosing to focus on positive belief and growth rather than negativity and blame.
How can someone move past the futility stage?
By isolating negativity, focusing on solutions, reconnecting with goals, and taking renewed action.
Is it normal to experience ups and downs in Primerica?
Yes, every leader experiences emotional cycles throughout their journey.
What role does discipline play in long-term success?
Discipline creates consistency, which leads to belief, duplication, and leadership growth.
Glossary
Honeymoon Stage
The early phase of excitement and high belief after joining the business.
Reality Stage
The phase where leaders face rejection, skill gaps, and the need for hard work.
Pressure Stage
A growth period marked by responsibility, competition, and personal exposure.
Futility Stage
A negative phase where blame, inactivity, and discouragement can take hold.
Rebirth Stage
A renewed commitment phase where belief, discipline, and responsibility return stronger.
SVP (Senior Vice President)
A high leadership contract level in Primerica representing strong organizational growth.
Mental Toughness
The ability to push through rejection, pressure, and adversity without quitting.
Duplication
The process of teaching others to replicate the same systems and behaviors for growth.
Transcript:
You know, I’m looking at Patty here. Definitely travel goes Patty and Sav. Travel goes a yacht life. You’ve definitely sold us above and beyond. I know their life is a vacation. And she’s always asking, hey, like yesterday she said, when’s our next vacation? I’m like, patty, we have to go hit some more diamonds, right? But just love that life and that freedom. Keith and Danielle, I mean, they. I think they have a home and everywhere they’re building a beautiful. I mean, I’m sure they’ll talk about it, but just building a beautiful home that they have coming up and gorgeous place in Florida. Every time I talk to Danielle and she’s a fantastic at designing, she’s like, I’m designing this and I’m designing them. Like, oh, my gosh, she’s designing two places right now that they have. And it’s just an incredible life.
Guys, to me, I think the question is, how do we not fight for more? How do we not go for more? Especially if this is an opportunity that can give you that. So thank you, Keith and Danielle, for hosting this event and putting this together. You guys are absolutely amazing. And thank you to all of our mentors. We’re just blessed you can give them a hand, guys. And really quick, I’m going to breeze through this as fast as possible, but we have a few guys that are going to hit their SVP promotion and I wanted to mention them really fast. I know, Geraldo, if you could stand up really quick. Geraldo and angel and Anna. Anna. I don’t know if Anna’s in the room, but she’s got contractions. I’m so proud of her. She’s like 9, like 10 months pregnant.
Angel’s about to have his first baby, but Geraldo and Fiore are about to hit their senior vice president contract coming up soon. You got Marquise. Where’s Marquis and Ev? Where are you guys? These guys making money, about to hit their second dive in. Guys. So proud of those guys, especially about to get the recruiting going on. So I’m really excited about what they’re getting ready to do. And Mikey and Zenny, if you guys could stand up really quick, I just want to say that my first appointment with these guys, I couldn’t do it. I literally had to. Mikey had to do my first field training appointment. Field training them. Mikey had to turn around and do the appointment. I mean, these guys are about to be senior vice presidents and hit their third, fourth, and fifth diamond. So proud of you guys.
Happy you guys didn’t quit at that time, but proud of you guys. Our base shop. We absolutely are obsessed with you. Kalyn Q. Peppin. Mama J. Hershot of the twins, Kayla and Santi, just to mention some of them. I know there’s a lot more in there, but super proud to be in business. You know, Glenn and I, this is our 20th year together, and I. It just goes by so fast. And we just had a baby, a little baby girl. And I’m so obsessed, and just the right timing. God knows what he’s doing. And I just wanted to. As I bring up Glenn, I wanted to say, you know, he’s always delivered everything. And I think back, you know, we had this little argument about this furniture that I. That I was like, why did you get that furniture?
He said, you wanted a mirror dresser or something. And I said, oh, my God. You listened to what I was saying. And he. It was funny because you talk and you don’t know if they’re listening, right? And every single thing that I’ve ever wanted, he’s always delivered and done some. He’s never said, hey, I’m gonna do this, and not delivered. And to me, that means everything. And it’s attractive. I’m a better woman because of him. I’m a better businesswoman because of him. I’m stronger. You’ve made me a mom, and I can’t thank you enough for making my dreams come true. Glenn, I love you, and I’m so proud and thankful for you.
Thanks, ma’.
Am.
Okay. All right. Okay. Did she say I made her my mom? No, I made her a mom. Okay. Okay. Hey, listen, I’m going to talk about, you know, the ups and downs of the business. And, you know, obviously, like Tom Safford talks about, it starts in your mind, okay? But I remember slides that Glenn Williams covered on a securities trip. And he talks about there’s facts of life, okay, and getting older. And one of the things he talked about is as we age physically, our perceptions change, okay? And he talks about as we age, and he talked about aging in Primerica, okay? And he said there’s a desire after a certain amount of time to become sophisticated. And, you know when we’re so excited, in the beginning, we recruit everybody. It was like, hey, if they breathed, we recruited them, right?
And I remember one time. Well, I don’t have time for that, okay, so watch. Fatigue. Boredom, okay? We get bored with the process. Less tolerance for crowds and dumb questions. We forget about the questions that we used to ask. Desire to be recognized for the past what did we do in the past versus what are we currently doing now? And Glenn Williams covered this and he talked about the natural shift of the business. I’m not going to cover that right now, but I am going to talk about attitude. Okay? So there’s attitudes, right? It’s not what happens to you, it’s how we deal with things, right or wrong. And there’s five stages, okay? And it says a bad attitude. A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can’t go anywhere until you change it. Second one, right?
It says, pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude towards the problem. That’s Jack Sparrow. The famous Jack Sparrow. Okay, so when you talk about stage one, the honeymoon stage, right? How many of you, this is your first time here, raise your hand. First time, okay, so right now you’re so excited you come to this event, you’re like, man, this is gonna be unbelievable. I’m gonna go back and recruit the world, right or wrong, and we gotta feel like that. Okay? So these are the things we said. I’ve been searching for this my entire life. Now think about it, how many people I’ve had people in our op meeting, right? Get on their knees during the middle of the option. I’m like, what’s going on? And they go, thank God for this.
This is what I’ve been looking for. And then they don’t come back for the follow up, right? I’m quitting my job tomorrow after my $99, clear, right? Next one, the room isn’t big enough. I’ve had people come to our office. The room isn’t big enough, right? He goes, is this, where’s the rest of the office? Because I’m about to bring some people and they’re gone. So what happens is the honeymoon phase, right? Says you finally found what you were searching for, right? That’s how you feel, right? You go, man, this is what I’ve been looking for my whole life. And then you can’t sleep because your dreams are so loud. Especially out of this leadership school, everything feels possible. And by the way, it is, right? And you talk to everyone. Isn’t it crazy? When we know the least, we speak the most.
And then the moment we start learning what to say, we don’t talk to many people, right? And so now how do you take advantage of this? Excitement is fuel. You want to capitalize during this stage. Talk to as many people as possible so that you. So that the results will keep you going. Okay, so number two, the reality Stage right? They go. All of a sudden it’s like, bam. You’re hit with reality. And this is. Oh, this actually takes work. You mean I actually have to talk to. You mean I actually have to learn something, right? I have to. There are skills that I need, right? It’s crazy, right? It says, the honeymoon fades. Now it’s grind time, right? People. You start realizing. People say no. I thought everybody was going to be. Was going to be interested when I first joined the business.
When I first joined, I go. I go, man, I started counting all my friends. I go, 50,000. 50,000. 50,000, right? Because Keith used to say, everybody that you override every RVP you promote at $50,000 in overrides. And I go, 50. I at least have five friends. And they’re all going to say yes because were all looking for something. How many of you guys have friends that will always, you know, when you grow up, you wanted to build a bar together or whatever it is, a restaurant, and you thought you were going to build a business together, right or wrong? And then all of a sudden, the moment you show them Primerica, they go, it’s too good to be true. All that stuff, right? So watch friends start avoiding you. How many of you guys start have friends that avoid you guys?
If you don’t have friends that avoid you ain’t talking to enough people. So. So I remember going to parties, and all of a sudden I would go in, and then everybody would scatter. And I’d be like, wait, what happened? Because. And then the host would say, hey, don’t talk to anybody about the business. And you ever go into a room, you could feel people talking about you, okay? So watch recruits quit. How many guys realize that, all right, Clients cancel, okay? Success has a price. You figure out, success has a price. And then the lesson is winning takes making adjustments, right? Someone talked about mental toughness, right? Being able to go through, see, do a lot in a short period of time. So you learn the lessons fast, right? Pressure stage says, am I good enough? You start asking yourself, am I good enough?
You start comparing, right. Results and start questioning yourself, right? And you start going, man, how come that person’s winning? Maybe there’s something wrong with me. You feel the weight of responsibility and growth. You. You have people tugging on you at all from all sides, right? Wrong. And then all of a sudden, you got people that say, hey, can you explain to me the 99 again? What about the 25? What’s that about? Can I do the 25 after I start making Money, right? I go, okay, so what in life did you get before you give right or wrong? You are exposed. And all of a sudden, use. People start realizing. As you start talking to people, recruiting people start realizing your skill level, right? And then. And by the way, when you start competing, how many competitors are in here?
Raise your hand if you’re competing. Guys, if we start competing, right, we’re gonna be exposed. And that’s why a lot of times people compete for a little bit and they stop competing. And the reason why is because people can tell if your numbers are on the scoreboard, right? You are always. You always feel like you have to perform. Does that make sense? And sometimes we don’t want that pressure, right? It says, pressure doesn’t break you, it builds you. So when you pass this stage, right? How do you learn a lesson from this stage? Pressure doesn’t break you, it builds you. When I think of attitude, right? Like, I look at Patty, right? Savannah, right? Like every. Like, Patty could get excited about anything, right? Like, it’s crazy.
I’m like, we’re eating dinner or something and she could have a three hour conversation about ketchup and how this is the best ketchup in the world, right? This is the best. Right or wrong, right? This is the best, right? But that’s an attitude. Does that make sense? That’s an attitude. Look at everything. Like I watch Keith. Everything Keith does, it doesn’t matter. You could shoot a bullet at him, he would just move out of the way and smile at you. So anyway, that’s a great attitude. But stage four is the futility stage. And what is that? So nothing works anymore. No matter what I do, it’s not going to work. No matter what I do, it ain’t so. We don’t say that out loud, but sometimes we think it. And how do you know it based on the activity you put in?
And so says, this is the darkest stage. You stop showing up, stop plugging in. You start looking for problems instead of solutions. It’s also called the condemnation stage, right? Start looking for problems instead of solutions, right? And then all of a sudden, you start seeing flaws in everything, especially everything in Primerica. You look for targets. This is also called the looking stage, where you start looking for reasons why you’re not moving anymore. Does that make sense? And we go, man, you know, the reason why I’m not moving because the chairs are not comfortable enough. The reason why, you know, I’m not winning is because the meetings are on Fridays and Saturdays. If the lights were a little Bit more.
More.
Well on. Okay, then I could take notes, and then I could review the notes. That’s the reason why I would win. We convince ourselves why things are not moving. Okay? You gather with others who feel the same, and now you’re building a pity party instead of a business, right? You align with the wrong people that also don’t move. Okay, so even in our office, there’s groups, right? In our office, right? There’s always a listen if you’re not building. Unless you have a negative group, too, right or wrong, there’s the three people, four people on the side that are always looking for reasons. And then what you gotta do is you gotta isolate them. And then what you do is when you isolate them, then you gotta pick the weeds, right? Pick the. And whatever it is.
Because if you leave weeds in a garden and a week later you come back, what happens to the garden? Right? It’s all weeds. You rewrite your story. So quitting makes sense. It’s not me, it’s them. And then, so this at the lesson is, futility isn’t failure, it’s fatigue. Without faith in this business, we’re gonna get tired, right or wrong, and we’re gonna get tired. We’re gonna. But. But if we have goals, it doesn’t matter if the goals are strong enough, right? The price doesn’t matter. Would you guys agree? Right, so watch number stage five. It’s the rebirth stage. What does that mean? That means, let me go over. It’s me. You start taking responsibility for where we’re at. It’s me. I’m. And by the way, we all go through these stages, and sometimes all these stages all in one day, right or wrong.
So watch. So you realize nobody changed. You did. The meetings are the same. The message is the same. Right? Standards are the same. The only way, the only thing, the only way that the only thing that changes our perception of what’s going on based on our mentality at that moment, you rebuild belief, discipline, and consistency. The comeback version of you is unstoppable, right? And then it says, rebirth isn’t starting over, it’s starting stronger. Sometimes when you don’t have a lot going on right now, you’ve been in the business for a while, we all go through all these ups and downs, and what happens is sometimes we go, man, do I really want to start over? And the answer is, we’re not starting over from scratch. We’re starting over with experience. And so it doesn’t matter where we are. It’s the way we perceive things.
Okay, so I’m gonna end with this. Chief was talking to his son, and he goes, to the son. He goes, everybody, right? Everybody’s got two wolves inside of them, right? Not two dogs, but two wolves inside of them, right? Everybody’s got two wolves inside of them. He goes, one wolf is jealous. It’s negative, right? It looks at the worst of everything. The second wolf is positive, excited, right? Looking forward, great attitude. And the son goes to the chief. He goes, so which wolf wins? And the chief goes, the one you feed. And so my challenge to us in here is, let’s go wherever we are right now, right? Let’s go build something, okay? And let’s feed the right wolf. Okay? Thank you, guys.
